Taking radical responsibility

👀 In this post:

Introduction

• radical responsibility

• an important caveat

Principles of radical responsibility

• we are our own experts

• inbuilt guidance

• advocating for ourselves

• ‘no’ is an option

Practicalities of radical responsibility

• know our bodies

• track metrics

• be brutally honest

• get help

Conclusion

Introduction

radical responsibility

One of the most powerful factors, possibly even THE most powerful factor, when it comes to our health and wellbeing is a decision on our part to take radical responsibility for ourselves.

This choice acted out on a continued basis changes everything, and it moves us from being the victim, the person stuff happens to, into the owner, the one in control, the one who takes charge. It’s not that we are in control of everything that happens in our lives, but rather that we choose our actions and our responses to life’s events.

When it comes to our health, it is so easy to outsource the responsibility to other people such as doctors, health care professionals, therapists, and so forth. We look to them for an answer on what the problem is and how we should manage it, and this attitude is inculcated for many of us at a young age. It often happens unconsciously when, as impressionable children, we see the actions and attitudes of those around us. I remember as a child my mum deferentially taking the doctor’s word as law, and every suggestion would be met with a submissive “yes, Doctor”, and usually followed up later by a “You heard what the doctor said!”

But as we know, even experts get things wrong. Someone else’s answers don’t always work for us, and we are the ones who are living in our bodies and know them best. We are also living in a time when healthcare has become more complex than ever, and, certainly in the NHS, the system is stretched to such an extent that it’s often difficult to get care and attention when a problem arises. Conventional healthcare typically ends up taking a problem-based approach out of sheer necessity, treating symptoms and conditions as disparate problems to the exclusion of a more holistic preventative approach.

Although things aren’t great in healthcare right now, when there are problems, there’s also opportunity, and the time has come for us to take back our power and resume radical responsibility for our own lives, including in the area of our health and wellbeing. The other positive element is that it’s now easier than ever to do this. This blog post will have a look at some of the principles of radical responsibility, along with the ways in which we can practically take responsibility for ourselves.

an important caveat

Sometimes, depending upon where we are at particular times in our lives, part of us taking radical responsibility will be making what feel like tiny choices and tiny decisions, because our capacity is maxed out elsewhere. And that is absolutely fine! The principles and practicalities still apply; the execution may just look different to someone else’s radical responsibility.

Principles of radical responsibility

we are our own experts

As we have already mentioned, all too often in the health space, we look to other people for answers to our problems, or we place their opinions above our own. While we can absolutely learn from others and be helped by them, we should never give anyone else the final say in the decisions we make about our health and wellbeing.

One of my underpinning life philosophies is that I am my own expert, and equally, whoever I work with is their own expert. If someone I’m working with tells me that they don’t feel something is right for them, I heed that and respect it. Equally if someone attempts to guide me down a particular route that I feel is not right for me, then I will exercise my right to refuse.

For example, a few years back, I got to the point where I needed two of my wisdom teeth removed. They were impacted due to the shape of my jaw and causing recurrent infections. I knew they needed to be removed, as repeated courses of antibiotics were NOT a workable solution, and I had no problems with the proposed treatment. But when the hospital dentistry team told me that I could only have it done under a general anaesthetic, I declined as I felt this was not the right approach for me. Subsequently I got a second opinion, and ended up having them removed under a local anaesthetic. My instinct told me that it was the better course of action for me even though it meant paying privately for it and being awake through the whole process. I recovered fast and had no qualms that I’d made the right decision.

inbuilt guidance

Intuition or gut instinct often gets either overlooked or downplayed, but this is a powerful way of getting guidance in our lives. I met SO many people in the course of my time working in healthcare who said to me, “I had a niggling suspicion that this wasn’t right for me, but I went ahead and did it anyway. I wish I had listened to my gut instinct”.

If someone gives us advice or recommends a particular course of action, we can always stop and check in with our own intuition. Does their advice resonate with us and sit well? Or do we feel a little niggle of doubt that this is right for us?

If we feel that niggle, we would do well to stop and listen. It doesn’t necessarily mean that ALL the advice isn’t right for us—perhaps some of it is right for us, and we just need to select that element. Perhaps we need more information or a second opinion, but ultimately, our intuition provides us with a sense of the path that we should take. The key is to stop, check in, and remember that we are our own experts.

advocating for ourselves

Next, we can advocate for ourselves. This comes more easily to some of us than it does to others! As an inveterate people-pleaser, I have definitely had to move outside of my comfort zone to learn this one. Sometimes, depending on our upbringing, we can have a tendency towards not rocking the boat, not wanting to make a fuss. This tendency can become a disservice to us personally if it prevents us from speaking up when we feel something is wrong or if we are not entirely happy.

I’ve seen many patients over the years who have intuitively known something is wrong, that they need help, but who have been falsely reassured that nothing is wrong and that they are worrying unnecessarily only for it to transpire at a later point that something was indeed wrong. They didn’t feel able to advocate for themselves, and unfortunately it ended up being detrimental to their health. So let’s not be afraid to speak up for ourselves, or even fight for ourselves if necessary.

‘no’ is an option

Often in the conventional healthcare system, there will be many ‘best practice’ guidelines that direct the way health problems are managed. These are usually determined off the back of multiple research studies, and clinicians may be judged on how closely or not they adhered to these guidelines, particularly if something goes wrong. Having a strong evidence base behind guidelines has its benefits, but no set of guidelines or research is perfect. Richard Horton, editor-in-chief of The Lancet, one of the most prestigious medical journals, said “The case against science is straightforward: much of the scientific literature, perhaps half, may simply be untrue”. We can’t rely solely on the science. It is worth remembering that everyone is an individual, and just because a certain course of action is considered to be effective for a particular patient population doesn’t mean to say it is right for you, and you can say no.

I remember the time when a patient in her forties came to see me with headaches and high blood pressure. She wasn’t on any medication at the time, but she had been in the past and was adamant that she did not want to go back on medication. After I examined her thoroughly, it became apparent that she was deficient in magnesium, a key mineral that has an impact on a wide range of bodily functions including the regulation of blood pressure. Directed by her instincts and backed up by her examination findings, we made a plan to trial magnesium supplementation and then review to see if it had made any impact on her blood pressure. Within just two weeks, her intuition that she did not need medication to reduce her hypertension was proven right. When I saw her, her blood pressure had completely normalised, and not only that, her chronic headaches had disappeared.

Are there times when anti-hypertensive medication is right for someone? Absolutely! But is it always right? Absolutely not, and if you feel something isn’t right for you, remember you hold the power to say ‘no’.

Practicalities of radical responsibility

know our bodies

There are some very practical ways in which we can live out this radical responsibility for our health and wellbeing, and my biggest suggestion—one that’s totally free—is for us to get to know our own bodies. We spend twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with them, and this provides us with the opportunity to know it better than anyone else. Our bodies are constantly sending us signals to show us what is needed, whether something is slightly out-of-balance, and when things are obviously wrong. We can then take this information, listen to it, and make sense of it. Some of that making sense may well include seeking help elsewhere, but it always starts with us.

One thing I will add here is that lots of us have got very good at ignoring our bodies, partly because it's not always convenient to listen to them, and partly because we were often raised in a way that trained us out of listening to our bodies. But we can start with the very basics by listening to and acting upon signals such as thirst, hunger, a need for movement or rest, and even using the toilet when we need to go, rather than putting it off because we are busy doing something. (Yup, I’m talking to myself here!) Sure, we can’t always act upon these things immediately, but we can do a whole lot more to start listening to our bodies than we probably do currently.

track metrics

We have the benefit today of being able to access so many different tools to help us keep track of our health and wellbeing. Yes, some of these tools do come at a cost, but if we are able to finance them, this information that helps us to better understand where we are now and how our body is responding to changes we make, brings so much value to our journey. For example, getting blood tests done used to be the purveyor of the GP, but now, it’s possible to go online and order at-home blood tests, so we can keep track of how our body is doing in different areas. Equally, we can do things like measure our own blood pressure at home, and this carries with it the added bonus of being far more relaxed than we might be if we were sat in the doctor’s surgery having it done!

Although many tools cost, there are also tools available for free. There’s many apps, such as cycle tracking apps, that have a free functionality. We also have the option of building our own systems to track different areas of our health, and these don’t need to be complicated. An old-fashioned notebook or simply a note taking app on our phone will often do just as good a job.

For some of us, tracking metrics isn’t helpful all the time. If we have severe health anxiety or find ourselves becoming obsessed with tracking specifics, then that’s probably outweighing any benefits in which case, you are probably better off minimising any tracking for a while.

be brutally honest

There’s lots of ways in which we can lie to ourselves, even when we think that we are being responsible for our health and wellbeing. But when we get brutally honest with ourselves, we will sometimes find areas where we realise we are ducking out of that responsibility.

One area in which I have previously done this is by justifying to myself that I’m tired and just need to rest, so rather than moving my body, I’ll flop on the sofa with my laptop and YouTube or Netflix. But as Dr Cassie Huckaby says, “Comfort and avoidance are NOT the same thing as recovery and rest”. Sometimes, flopping on the sofa WAS recovery and rest for me, but most of the time, it was actually me choosing comfort and avoidance. The areas we do this will be different for each of us, but if we practice getting brutally honest with ourselves, we will start to see a shift.

get help

This has already been alluded to earlier in the article, but there will be times when we need help. We won’t be able to make sense of everything by ourselves, sometimes we’ll need support from others, and there will be occasions when we absolutely need to tap into someone else’s expertise. Refusing to seek any help whatsoever is not radical responsibility. What that help looks like will be different for each of us depending on what the situation is. Sometimes that might be as simple as seeking out information in the form of a book or a podcast, sometimes it might mean seeing a healthcare professional, at other times it might mean engaging a coach to help us implement some changes that we are struggling with by ourselves. But the point is, we can’t know everything or sort everything out totally independently, and getting appropriate help can be powerful.

Conclusion

Taking radical responsibility for our health and wellbeing totally changes the trajectory of our lives. It doesn’t mean we’ll have perfect health or never get sick or injured, but it does completely change the choices we make and the actions we take. Absolutely we should use the expertise of others to help us on our journey to better health and wellbeing. but let’s never give up our power to make choices and decisions. We are our own best experts.